Most of us are unhappy when someone lets us down. As well as feeling disappointed, we can feel angry too. I’ve had many people in my life let me down. At the time, I felt betrayed, hurt and lost. At that time, I didn’t realise that these people were my adverse teachers. Each gave me an opportunity to grow.
Let you me give you an example:
One of my friends enlisted me to help her son. I was a psychologist at the time and helping him wasn’t a good idea. Against my better judgement, after she begged me, I gave in. Her son told me his father had sexually abused him. His mother didn’t believe it and took me to court. The case dragged on for three traumatic years. During those three years, I healed significant aspects of my childhood trauma as well as trauma from many unresolved past lives. I suspect the past lives spontaneously arose because I was feeling so threatened. By the time of the hearing, I was calm and confident. The child turned into an adult a few days before the hearing and refused to be involved. It was over, and I was wiser and stronger. By the time my six figure legal costs were refunded by the insurance company, I felt grateful for the experience.
I have had a dozen major adverse teachers, including relatives, friends and one actual teacher. After I embraced a spiritual perspective, I began to understand how each person and incident offered me an opportunity to learn and grow. Knowing that, I calmed down a little more each time a “betrayal” happened. I focussed on finding my lesson. Even in recent times, it takes me about six weeks to figure that out and get back to a sense of neutrality. Finding peace again always feels good, and I am grateful for the lesson.
Looking back on my relationships with my adverse teachers over the years, I can see that I have given each one of them an opportunity to learn and grow too. I ‘ve wondered if they benefited from the experience. Because most of my adverse teachers severed our relationship, I never knew.
I meditated on this and was given a positive answer. Some benefited in their current life, and some will benefit in later lives. Higher guidance tells us that no experience is wasted. Some of us learn slowly and some faster. Time is not of the essence for eternal beings. We can take as long as we need—and hopefully enjoy our earthly lives on the way.
I have had some positive teachers too, those who continued to love me and accept me when I disappointed them. The positive teachers help me stay grounded when the painful lessons come along. But once I have taken advantage of the lesson offered, I am grateful for each of my adverse teaches and the positive ones too.