Have you heard about people walking right past someone who is being attacked or abused? It happens, but not as often as you think.

Researchers from universities in Copenhagen and Lancaster examined 219 different videos of verbal or physical abuse that took place in three cities, Amsterdam, Lancaster and Cape Town. Only in one out of ten instances did people walk by. Ninety percent of people stepped in to help, and this percentage was same in all three cities.

Watching, reading or hearing the news, we can get a warped view about our fellow humans. The media focuses on the negative, on actions that are the opposite of kindness. We need to remind ourselves that most people, about ninety percent in fact, are willing to intervene in circumstances of abuse and violence, even when there is some risk to themselves.  

Most of the clients who come to see me are encouraged by their spiritual guides to be kind and caring. Many find this is their life purpose and are called to act kindly in the face of abuse and criticism. How do they do that?

The following two cases, from the many clients I have seen, help us understand. One is Hashree, a lovely woman, who felt called to undertake a life between lives regression.

In her session, I help Hashree obtain the relaxed state that helps clients experience their past lives and the life between lives. She accesses a past life and, after dying at the end of that life, Hashree arrives back into her timeless spirit home in the life between lives. She explains how that occurs and how she is to proceed.

I am walking on the beach barefoot, wearing a long white flowy dress. My hair is long, curly and blonde. I am meeting somebody, my beloved, and I am saying,” I finally get to be with you.”

I feel so much love. Although, I can’t see his face, he is holding m. Sadly, I feel we are going to be apart soon.

I have something to do that will separate us. Even though I don’t want to leave him, I have to. I have made peace with it now and accepted that I have to go. He is my soulmate and being strong for both of us.

We cannot be together in our lives because we would be too absorbed with each other and lose our focus. Sometimes we meet, when incarnated, but only briefly.

A little boat has come for me. I see him standing under the trees. I am getting in and my dress is getting wet. He laughs and pushes me out on the water while I am saying I don’t want to leave you.

Now I am sailing away. The sky is golden, so beautiful. I am alone on the ocean now. It is quiet and I am enjoying the water. I am at peace.

At this point in the regression, I am not sure whether Hashree is still in spirit or physical, so I ask her. “Are you a spirit now?”

I guess I am. I had to go back to my heavenly father. He wants me back. I have a job to do. I feel no emotion just calm.

I have a purpose, but I don’t know what it is yet. I am resting, having a chance to recover. I feel like I am floating. It is nice. I am still in the in between. I can sense the physical world, but I am not in it. I am resting to build my energy for something. I am a bit apprehensive about what I have to do. My father is saying I can do it. He is filling my heart with so much love it is going to explode. He wants me to take that love and spread it. He said I am joy. There will be sadness too. I am not sure, but he is making me strong so I can do it.

I am still in the in between and I have to make the choice. I could stay here in this calm beautiful place or I can go down again and do this job. From here, I can see Planet Earth and it seems like there is a bubble around it. It’s like I can poke my finger in it.

My father says I have been chosen because I am strong. I have the job of going back into a body and touching sad, unhappy people to enlighten something positive in them.

Obviously, Hashree does come back to Earth into her current incarnation. She is married with children and now speaks from that perspective.

In my current life, I have been given this heart to love. But it gets broken a lot. I still carry the sadness of leaving my spiritual home. I don’t like to come back to Earth, but I have work to do.

Hashree starts crying. In her current life, her husband needs her, but this man is not her soulmate. As well, he has a tendency to be critical and this often hurts her.

I don’t understand people speaking badly to others and to me. I am looking at my husband and I see his heart is sad. I just have to be kinder to him. My heart can cope. I am strong. I just gained the insight and strength to carry this burden. My strength is love.

We are on this journey together and I am to help unlock his heart. I am to show him forgiveness. As I forgive him, I help him find forgiveness for himself. He is good soul, but he is carrying some guilt. I need to look past everything, past him being human, and see the divinity underneath.

I feel this light so bright that my hair is standing on end.

People are sad because they have forgotten who they really are. I remind them by seeing the divinity in them. Before, when I felt hurt, I allowed my human nature to take over.  But his criticism is not really about me. Now I get a sense that I am not attached to anything. I am free.

Someone just said, I am the joy maker. I can bring laughter. My gift is words and the way I speak with love.

During her regression Hashree is given information about her purpose, but that is not all she receives. Her guides give her a firsthand experience of the power and energy of love. This changes her, reminding her of who she really is and why she is on the planet. Her path is acting with unconditional love and this brings joy to her and others.

In another regression, a client, Lindsay, is learning to express kindness. His guides give him some tips on how to do this.

To be kind and loving you need patience and no personal agenda. You cannot invest yourself in the outcome. When you are moving to love, you are not concerned about anyone succeeding or not. Winning or being right is not important. In other words, our acts of kindness are not tied to any need in us.

It is not about trying to be good. It is doing what feels right and what you know is right. You just do your best and let everything else go.

When helping someone we usually hope that he or she succeeds, improves, recovers or, at least, survives. If we step in when someone is being abused, we may want to win. If someone is critical or arguing with us, we can be defensive, wanting to be right. But the guides are clear on all the above, it is not our concern.

We help because it is who we are. Being caring and kind is in our nature. When we are kind, we are expressing our true self. How would we feel if we walked by, ignoring the genuine needs of others? That is not who we really are. Kindness to others is also kindness to ourselves.