Better than Wild Sex

Better than Wild Sex

I know two women who are missing out on the best potential time of their lives. They are looking after their elderly husbands. Many years ago, each married a man who was around twenty years older than they were. At the time, each woman was not coping well alone. Their husbands provided much needed emotional and financial security.

For around thirty years, the marriages survived and were reasonably happy, but in recent years there has been a change. The men grew old and became ill. Both men were successful in their businesses, seeing themselves as strong, protective and capable. Now they are struggling to cope with their physical demise. Their wives describe them as weak, needy and demanding. Both women are tired, frustrated and resentful. They hate looking after these men who once looked after them.

Blanche d’Alpuget didn’t miss out. She was the main carer of her husband, Bob Hawke, the former prime minister, nursing him during the last year of his life when he was at his weakest.

After his death, she said the joy of mature love involves great softness and intimacy with no pretence or secrets, and that she found it wonderful to look after the one she loved.

We often said to each other that we’ve been blessed to have this period together.

 [It has been] the most tender and intimate of our whole lives. For me [our relationship ranged from] the wild excitement of sexual ecstasy to the great tenderness of looking after a person who was completely dependent upon me. And there is much greater intimacy, actually, in looking after somebody who is in that ­debilitated state than there is in even the wildest sex.

Some people might find it difficult to believe that caring for a loved one can be so gratifying. But I have come across this before in my clients. Some feel like this in their current lives and some have felt it about their past lives. One of the latter is Lorraine.

In the regression, Lorraine re-lived a past life in America as a man, Jimmy, who married in mid-life. Three years after they married, his wife, Maddy, fell off a horse and was crippled.

She is sitting in a rocking chair and I am bringing her iced tea on a platter. I am the carer. I just want to look after her because she is so brave, and I love her so much. We didn’t have any children and we really wanted them. There is a sadness about that in her.

I am looking at the sunset, realising there is more to life than children. She appreciates the care I give her.

We are sitting on the porch of a two-story house, near the town. I see horses going by. We have lots of friends and they and others come by and say hello.

We love bantering, being funny, singing, talking and dreaming together. She is not demanding but she does have a mind of her own. She has a view about things, she reads and teaches me what she knows. I had to wait a long time for her to come into my life

There is a piano in the house, and I play it in the evenings. Now we are having a drink together. I carry her upstairs to bed. Although it is limited; it is a lovely life.

Now I see myself on the porch alone, feeling sad. She is gone.

I died around 60, from a heart attack about five years after she passed. I grew some plants for her and watched them grow. It was too long. I missed her.

We made a pact. She would like to look after me next time. She is my friend and the love of my life. That is why I love sunflowers. I planted some.

I feel peaceful now. I see that it is important to appreciate looking after another and doing so is joy. It was pure joy looking after her with the love between us.

No doubt it takes a lot of energy looking after another who is needy. There are times of exhaustion and frustration. But it gives us an opportunity to reach into the most loving part of ourselves rather than giving into resentment. To do this, our love for ourselves needs to be strong and resilient, as strong as our love for another.

We are spiritually mature when we realise it is privilege to be either the carer, or the one being cared for.

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Stories of the Afterlife

Stories of the Afterlife

As most of you know, I am certified with The Michael Newton Institute for Life Between Lives Hypnotherapy. Here are some links that will give you more information about regression and the afterlife:   

In response to global interest and demand for more inspiring case stories, The Newton Institute (TNI) created Stories of the Afterlife.This online journal is for anyone curious about our existence beyond physical life. The journal contains cases of clients who have had been regressed to their past lives and life between lives. Each journal contains about five cases written by TNI practitioners. Currently there are 200 TNI practitioners from 40 different countries around the globe. 

Each quarterly addition also includes other regular features that keeps you up to date with research, book reviews and other news about the practice of regressions and life before and beyond. 

To find out more about more about Stories of the Afterlife, click on this link: 

https://www.newtoninstitute.org/news/stories-afterlife/ 

TNI also has a FaceBook page where people can ask questions and share information about past lives, life between lives and their regressions. 

Click here to join:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/122382797796840/

 

 

 

Shining a Light on Neo-Nazism

Shining a Light on Neo-Nazism

 

 

Recently I read about an American a white supremist, a singer in a Neo-Nazi band, named Arno Michaelis. He is now the author of a book, My Life After Hateand works with young people via an organization, Serve2Unite. His story sheds some light on a question I have often wondered about. How does emanating light make a difference to the people around you?

Many people who come to see me for regressions are looking for meaning in their lives. To their surprise, they often find their main purpose in life is very simple. It is not a job, a career or doing thing for others. It is simply “being.” But there is something special about this “being.” 

One of these clients is Simone, 36, a trainer and coach, who comes to see me because she is tired of the politics playing out at the office—even though she enjoys her day to day work with people. She wants to know her life purpose and her next career step.  

During the regression, Simone is taken to a past life as a man. He is a wise advisor to a King in one of the kingdoms on the Iberian Peninsula, a long, long time ago. The king is a jovial man who reigns over a relatively peaceful kingdom. He greatly appreciates the advice of his respected counsellor who is devoted to the king and the kingdom.

The advisor dies looking out at the ocean on a sunny day. He reflects on his life.

It was a life of service. My opinion was valued. I was an honest, ethical person and the people around me were like that too. It was a wealthy place and people were taken care of.  It had a good energy.
Simone meets her guide in the library after proceeding to her life between lives. The guide opens her book of lifeand she is given information about the advisor’s life and the relationship to her current life.

My job was to teach people to not be greedy and to have compassion for each other. That is why it was a happy peaceful place. I helped them understand the importance of contentment and compassion. They saw the sense in that.

Now my guide is saying that I fulfilled my purpose. We touched multi-generations with that golden energy all around. It is a time after Atlantis when the golden light and energy returned. I was to empower others and keep that energy humming. I sensed an awareness of what had happened in Atlantis.

I feel that is my purpose again, to increase the higher positive vibration and light. This time I feel more people are onboard. It is not as hard as we think, if we remind people of connecting. People are becoming more aware of what they want, their connection with others. Even just doing this one on one is worthwhile. It sends out energy like a ripple in a pond.

I ask Simone and her guides how this will work in her day to day life.

I am not going to be told now. I will know in three days after I sit with this contentment, absorbing and integrating this memory and experience. I need to step into the power I have, and remember who I am. I have this great light within me. The thoughts, ideas, images and words will come to me just when I need them. It is like a “knowing.” I need to keep trusting that it will come.

I didn’t really get my question answered during that session, but I found an answer when Arno Michaelis explained how he turned away from hatred and violence.

He experienced a number of incidents that influenced this shift.  One memorable moment happened some years before he made the final change.

I radiated hostility, especially towards anyone with a darker skin complexion than mine.  

One time at a McDonald’s, I was greeted by a black lady who had a radiant smile for everybody who walked through the door. That smile alone was blowing my bullshit out of the water. I had a swastika tattooed on the middle finger of my right hand and I tried to hide it. But she noticed it anyway saying, “What’s that on your finger?” I couldn’t say, “It’s a symbol of my race because I am white warrior for my people.” I was completely disarmed. I just said, “It’s nuthin.”

She looked up at me, “That’s not who you are. You’re a better person than that.” Powerless against such compassion, I fled from her steady smile and authentic presence, never to return to that McDonald’s again.

Arno didn’t forget this woman nor the energy she emanated. It stayed with him as one chink in the armour he had developed as protection from a childhood of alcoholism and emotional abuse.

He finally changed when he became a single parent of his little daughter. But he never forgot the sunny woman at MacDonald’s who saw right through his protective shield into his heart, and touched the person he really was.

Playing with fire

It was a cold, damp day so I decided to light the fire. Watching a roaring fire and feeling the warmth, I thought about how comforting it is to have a fireplace in the house. Of course, humans have enjoyed fire for eons of time.

Immersed in these thoughts, I also remembered how deadly a fire can be when it is out of control. Fire is energy and too much unexpected energy all at once doesn’t warm nor comfort, it destroys. No one wants to be in the vicinity of an out-of-control fire. It can incinerate us.

Emotions are also energy. Although we think of emotions as something intangible and imperceptible, they have power. Like fire, expressed emotions can be comforting and reassuring but, if they are hot and out of control, they can burn people.

Many of my clients face volatile people either in their current lives or in their past lives. Learning what action to take when confronted with hostility is part of our curriculum as humans on our soul journey.

Think for a moment when you have been in the vicinity of someone expressing uncontrolled, hot emotions? You are likely to feel a blast of negative energy coming your way, especially if you are invested in the content and are emotionally connected to the angry one. Afterwards, you might have trouble putting the incident out of your mind.

How can you protect yourself from disturbing emotional outbursts?

Let’s continue with our fire analogy. Firemen wear amazing protection when they’re in the vicinity of a serious fire. Highly rated thermal insulation makes up the outer skin of their protective shield while next to the skin lie several layers of breathable thermal material. Sandwiched between the two is a substantial moisture barrier. Firemen also breath oxygen through a mask. All this protection means they can survive in temperatures of 370°C, even though skin burns at 55°C.  Still, in an enclosed space, they are always in danger of a flashover. A flashover occurs when material in a heated space spontaneously combusts. Temperatures are deadly high, once this happens. Each fireman needs to be acutely aware of the warning signs to survive.

Obviously the most sensible thing to do to protect yourself from a fire or someone having an angry emotional outburst is to move away. But maybe you, like the firemen, want to help. So, you stay and try to calm whoever is having an emotional outburst. If you do, you need to be cautious. What protection do you have? How are you likely to react? What knowledge and skills have you developed?

Firemen train constantly to be ready for a fire. What preparation have you undertaken?

You need to know how to access your protection quickly and you need to make sure it stays in place.

Firemen have their protective armour. If you decide to stay in the vicinity of a hostile person, what protection do you need to be safe?  

Strong boundaries are important. These are non-physical boundaries. Objectivity is the cornerstone of strong emotional boundaries. Your objectivity keeps you from being caught up in the inferno.

You need inner strength, the strength to stay calm and unrattled even though the blaze might be getting more intense.

You need to know when to leave, especially if you are in an enclosed situation and the person you are dealing with is getting hotter and hotter. You might be in danger. Are you aware of the signs?

You need unconditional love, wisdom and skill when dealing with angry people. Otherwise you are likely to inflame the situation. Love comes from spiritual maturity. Wisdom comes from experience and emotional intelligence. Skill comes from knowing and practising useful communication techniques.

Like water quenching a fire, unconditional love can quell an emotional outburst. But some people burn with such deep pain and hate, they are not open to being calmed. These are the “fires” that are dangerous.

Firemen are trained to make sure they have an escape route. When you are in a volatile situation with someone, you need to know how to safely get away. Don’t put yourself in danger by not having a quick accessible exit.

The best way to deal with uncontrollable fire is to immediately get away—unless you are a fireman with all the protections outlined above. And for most of us, the best way to deal with a furious, uncontrollable, emotional outburst is to walk away.

When you leave immediately, you are refusing to be a victim. You are giving the offender a clear message that you will not tolerate their fiery outbursts. And if you return later, leave again if all is not calm. Actions always speak louder than words.

Being!

Being!

Lately I have had quite a few clients who have been told, by their guides, that they are to “be” instead of “do.”

These souls are at a particular stage of development on their journey through the Earth System. They have had many lifetimes of “doing,” focussing on physical survival, struggling with challenges, fighting for security, defending their identity, working or seeking work, studying and striving to get ahead or competing for attention, promotion or success. “Doing” in this sense means action that is based on fear.

When souls incarnate on earth, amnesia is part of the deal. We forget we are more than our physical bodies. We forget we are eternal beings.  

As we develop through many experiences in many lives, we gradually start remembering. As we awaken, we become aware of our eternal nature. Our awareness aligns us with our true nature, gifting us with knowledge and guidance. These gifts are not of the material world. They are esoteric gifts that are part of our multidimensional self.

When we are open up and ready to receive these gifts, we are no longer driven by the fear of survival. We know that leaving our physical body is just a transition. In their current life, many have already visited the “other side,” perhaps spontaneously or during a spiritual regression. They know where they are going, and they know it is beautiful beyond description.

Without fear, these people are in a vibrational state of acceptance. They can now “be” instead of “do.”

“Being” doesn’t mean just sitting around doing nothing all the time. Certainly, you are still and contemplative at times, but the key of “being” is following your inner guidance.

This can be tricky because we humans have a busy mind, unlike other life forms on the planet. For example, bees just be, taking action according to their nature and specific role in the colony and they do this by faithfully following their inner guidance.

We rush around busily with our conscious minds, often unaware of the inner message that could guide us.

Receiving inner guidance comes in many forms. Usually it is just a knowing. It can be an inner voice, or some sense that you trust, which alerts you to your next step. Sometimes it is unconscious—you just find yourself doing or saying something without knowing where that impulse came from. It can be an epiphany where you suddenly a gain deep understanding of some issue. For many, it is a pull.  You feel pulled in a particular direction that you feel compelled to follow in spite of any doubts.

At its core, “being” is surrender. You release your old agendas, your ideas about how things should be, and submit to the higher guidance coming through you.

“Being” is a state of acceptance. You know there is no point complaining or judging others. You realise that everything, and everyone, is just perfectly where it all needs to be.

In a way, “being” means trusting the ultimate plan of the high frequency beings who are running this universe. I have been told, during countless regressions, that all is unfolding as planned and we have nothing to be concerned about. The destruction of the planet is not part of the plan—although we have tumultuous times ahead. These planetary disruptions will frighten many, but annihilation is not the end game.

All those people struggling for survival will someday evolve to a state of being where they surrender their will. At this time, they are still in the process of developing their will. It seems paradoxical, but before you surrender your will and “be,” you have to first develop it. That is just part of experiencing the full curriculum of the Earth System. Earth is a learning school, designed to expand each of us with knowledge and wisdom.

If what I have written here resonates with you, perhaps you are one of those people who are called to “be” rather than “do.” There are many such folk on the planet at this time. They are here to help the system evolve into a higher frequency. Although it takes courage to surrender and trust, it is a worthwhile practice for those who are ready.

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A Short Cut to Real Wealth

A Short Cut to Real Wealth

When I was in private practice as a psychologist, one of my clients sheepishly asked me if I had a policy on receiving gifts. She was holding a small parcel at the time.

 “Yes,” I replied, “I do have a policy on receiving gifts.”

Her face fell. She assumed, as a professional, my policy was to not accept gifts. I continued, “My policy is that I accept all good that the universe offers.”

Her face lit up with a wide smile as she handed me her gift. It was a handmade patchwork, shopping bag. She had made it for me, choosing bright colours that she noticed I preferred.

Decades later, I still have the bag which I still enjoy using, a reminder of this generous client and my gratitude for all the good I receive.

That gift was great. But sometimes the gift we receive is not what we expected.

One day a friend of mine asked me to come to a free weekend NLP seminar. My antennae told me to avoid this free seminar. I remember being told that if you didn’t know how NLP worked you could be manipulated by unscrupulous people using it. I had studied NLP and observed its exploitative power. I kindly refused her offer to attend. My friend and her partner went along. At the free seminar, they both signed up for two, five-day seminars at the cost of $20,000. These seminars were supposed to show them how to become rich. Some years later, my friend and her partner filed for bankruptcy.

Whatever they learned at these expensive seminars did not help them fulfil their dreams. While they tried to apply their newfound knowledge, they lacked one essential ingredient—self-knowledge. As time progressed, I observed a lot of wishful thinking by my friend and her partner—the same trap evident right at the beginning when they were invited to the free seminar.

By trusting in this free gift, they opened themselves to deception. But really, they deceived themselves. They didn’t have enough knowledge to be discerning. While you might see their trust as a mistake, I do not. Bankruptcy is painful, while also presenting a perfect opportunity to learn. They stood on the threshold of gaining a deeper understanding of themselves, their motivations and actions.

Trusting and receiving are not mistakes. Opportunities are gifts from the universe.

During the regressions which I am privileged to conduct, spiritual guides give us their wisdom. They tell us there is a short cut to spiritual development that very few people are taking at this point in time.

In one regression, the client was told by the guide, “I gave you this shortcut many lifetimes ago, but you still haven’t taken it.”

The client and I both wanted to know more details about this short cut.

“Trust,” the guide replied.

At that time, the guide’s words didn’t seem to make sense. In her past lives and current life, this client had trusted, received what was offered, and had been terribly betrayed. Those betrayals had caused her great grief, and even death. Why would she want to trust?

The guides left it to us to figure it out. In the meantime, similar messages kept coming from other guides.

Gradually, I gained a deeper understanding what they meant. When we trust without discernment, we will be disappointed, but this is the fastest way to learn. Over time, we learn what not to do and who not to trust. Even though it is painful to be let down, through trusting we continually refine our ability to make better decisions.

Think about it! How do we learn if we stop trusting and say ‘no’ to new opportunities? We cannot learn without taking risks, without opening up to accept new challenges. The courageous learn quickly while the fearful develop slowly. That is fine. It is their choice. But some of us want to progress more efficiently.

Trust is the opposite of fear. It takes courage to trust even when there is fear.

Gradually I have learned an important principle. Take action motivated by desire, not fear. In other words, don’t let fear distract you from what you truly desire.

Recently, I was guiding a young friend on how to consolidate and pay off her many debts. Suddenly, she realised how much money she would be applying to debt in the next year or so. “Oh! I’m not going to have much money to spend. I love buying things. I like the freedom of having money.”

“What do you really want?” I asked. “Do you want the freedom to spend like you have in the past, or do you want your life in control? This is your choice.”

She sat quietly for several minutes, mentally comparing these two ways of living, which are mutually incompatible.

“I want my life in control,” she stated with considerable conviction.

My young friend was giving herself a gift. She had not been able to trust herself in the past. She didn’t have the wisdom. Her careless spending propelled her into financial trouble, and she didn’t feel good about it. But she was willing to look at her previous behaviour and motivations. Once she understood what she’d been doing and why, she committed to change. She is taking actions that will give her what she really wants.

She’d been naïve. In spite of her careless spending, she trusted that all would be well. It wasn’t, not in the short term anyway. But ultimately, her trust and her debts are a gift. She is learning to spend money wisely.

Trust is our short-cut spiritual path. By trusting, we are developing the greatest wealth anyone can have: Wisdom.

Karen interviewed by Dr Liara Covert

Karen interviewed by Dr Liara Covert

 

Dr Liara Covert is a breathworker who has recently moved to the Sunshine Coast. She frequently interviews people about their lives and posts them on her blog. Recently she contacted me and asked me to do an interview. I checked out her website and felt an energetic connection. Her approach to life resonates with mine. I agreed to her interview and she came up to Maleny to do it. We spent a pleasant day together, taking care of business and then lunching and driving around the district. Liara had never been to Maleny before and was impressed with its beauty.

In the interview I share details of my life, the regressions, my books and some of the forces that have influenced me. Here is a link to a transcript of the interview:

http://blog.dreambuilders.com.au/journal/2018/12/18/interview-with-karen-joy.html

Picture of Liara

 

Panic attacks with an unusual cause.

Panic attacks with an unusual cause.

When I was working as a psychologist, I saw an average of twenty clients a week. Over twenty years, I must have seen thousands of clients. Even so, some stories have stayed with me. Here is one about a client suffering panic attacks.

Chrissy, aged 28, came to see me because she felt increasingly anxious. She had always been a bit anxious, but it had never stopped her from getting on with her life. I considered this a normal level of anxiety. But over the last twelve months, her anxiety had developed into panic attacks.

Her father had committed suicide six years earlier. He’d been an unhappy, sensitive man who coped by using alcohol. Before this, he’d been a loving father to her. She said she coped with his suicide by believing he was at peace. She’d hated watching his emotional turmoil over the last couple of years before he died. Her mother had left him, and he never quite recovered from this experience of loss and rejection.

Like most people, she felt like she was dying during her panic attacks. Somehow, each time they hit, she managed to pull herself out of the fear and regain her composure. This wasn’t a satisfactory solution because, sooner or later, they always returned.

I use the technique of supported exposure to deal with panic attacks. I consider panic attacks to be a type of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Some specific experience, perhaps too fleeting to be noticed, brings a past trauma suddenly and vividly to life.

Supported exposure gently takes the client back into the experience of panic, while letting her know she is safe and supported. Usually the client receives more information about the trauma by staying with the feelings of panic until they gradually subside.

I asked Chrissy to describe her panic attack and, within a few moments, she was back in it. I encouraged her to be brave and stay with her feelings, breathing slowly and deeply. She followed my instructions and soon started reporting her impressions.

She sensed the presence of her father. I accepted this as her truth and began to explore it. I asked if he knew he was dead. She felt a strong sense of confusion and fear.

I have many clients who have sensed the presence of the dead, especially those they had loved who have passed on. Their presence often stirs up feelings of confusion. I used the same technique with Chrissy as I had used with them, as it had always worked.

I suggested she tell her father he has died. He committed suicide many years ago thinking that would free him from pain, but the pain remains. This may sound counter-intuitive, especially if you believe death to be the end. But even though our body falls away, our soul-self continues. Chrissy’s father is clutching onto her because he does not know what else to do.

I explained this to her. “You love him, but his pain is too great for you to bear. It is time for him to go. Are you willing to let him go, Chrissy?”

Chrissy started crying. She admitted it was difficult to let him go. Since his death, she had been aware of his presence from time to time, especially if she felt down or alone. This had been a comfort to her.

I explained it was time to release him. He had things to do on the other side and she needed to learn how to cope without him. I continued to reassure her, giving her time to weep quietly until she decided to let him go.

She suddenly saw a bright light, even though her eyes were closed. Then she said, “He’s gone.” She reported feeling calm.

As she opened her eyes, she explained that she now understood what had happened. He had attached to her after he died. She had never completely grieved her loss because she had never fully felt he’d gone. She wondered if he had sensed some need in her and hung around to help her cope.

It wasn’t only her father who’d felt lost. She had too. After five years with her, he wanted to leave, but every time he started to let go, she went into a panic. This took her back to the moment she learned of his suicide and all her feelings of helplessness. Now she realised she’d been hanging onto him, holding him back from getting on with his life on the other side. The tears she shed during the session expressed the loss she was finally feeling.

After this session, Chrissy had no more panic attacks and her anxiety subsided. She came to see me several times, building her inner strength and developing the confidence to cope as an adult in the world. As well, she soon felt connected to her spiritual guide who was there to help her.

Chrissy was one of the early clients I encountered who was hanging onto a deceased loved one. I have met many more since, on my journey as a healer, some when I was a psychologist and some as a spiritual practitioner. Not all involve panic attacks. There can be other symptoms, such as depression, sadness or feelings of helplessness. Some people know they are hanging onto a loved one but don’t know how to let go. Others, like Chrissy, don’t want to let go.

Panic attacks have many causes. They are all discoverable if the practitioner and the client are willing to explore deeply with an expansive view of what is possible.

 

Book Launch

Book Launch

Today it is two years (22nd Sept. 2016) since Michael Newton departed for his life between lives. I thought it fitting to let you know about a new book with which he was involved.

The Book is “Llwellyn’s Little Book Of Life Between Lives” which is to be launched in the USA on the 1st  of October 2018.

This is a great book for anyone interested in past life or life between lives regression. By using relevant and absorbing cases, it explains the process in detail, including the preparation, the hypnotic process, what the past life is like and “places” you can access in the life between lives. Because it is a small book with an attractive hard cover, it is a great gift.

I am a member of the Research Committee of the Michael Newton Institute, There are four of us and we are the authors of this book. Many of the cases in the book come from my clients (with permission of course)..

Ann Clark, the Director of the Research Committee, spoke to Michael Newton a few months before he passed. He had been asked by Llewellyn, the publisher of his books, to write this book. Because he trusted the work the Research Committee had already done, he asked Ann if she could take on the writing of the book. He was not in the best of health at the time. She promised him the Research Committee members would write the book. Sadly, Michael passed over before it was finished.

You can pre-order the book now, either with your  local bookstore or the link below. If you have any problems getting it, please let me know.

Here is the link https://www.llewellyn.com/product.php?ean=9780738753959

 

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