The Impact of Very Strict Fathers

The Impact of Very Strict Fathers

A few months ago, I wrote about absent fathers, Part 1 and Part 2. I was surprised at the comments I received, some by email. Some readers drew strength from the stories in those blogs.

No doubt absent fathers strongly affect their sons and daughters. These children yearn for the attention of a caring dad.

Strict fathers also affect their children, but in a different way. These children soon learn to fear their fathers and try to avoid them. As they approach adulthood, they just want to escape to find safety and freedom.

 This was the case with Lily. Lily’s father emigrated from a country in Asia which was suffering significant turmoil at the time. Asian dads tend to be strict anyway, but we learned during the regression that most of his hardness came from a recent difficult past life. Lily had no memory of him ever being affectionate. In fact, she felt very afraid of him.

The only way dad knew how to discipline us was through verbal threats. I remember him telling me “If you say that again I will cut out your tongue.” Once I went to the store and talked to a boy. He saw me and said,” If you do that again I will break your legs so you cannot walk.”

Lily had a number of physical conditions that her doctors told her were from stress. She had suffered depression, but her main concern was her skin. Since she was a child, she had abrasions on her body, mainly on her arms and legs. They were not there at birth and when they did appear, they would come and go in different spots. She came for a regression hoping to gain some insight into this problem.

At the beginning of the regression, Lily lives a past life as a woman. She and her husband live together in a primitive cabin. Their relationship is loving.

I am at the window of the kitchen, seeing a man outside. It seems like I know him. I get a friendly feeling.  He is waving. I am not afraid. It actually makes me want to smile. I am married to him. We have been together for a good while. I feel happy and peaceful.

 I keep seeing things on the wall like pots, spatulars and measuring cups. I cook for the family. I have a sense of of connection and peace.

I make sure she anchors these positive feelings of being peaceful, happy and safe so she can access them whenever she wants.

Next she finds herself in a barren place surrounded by huge volcanos. She feels unsafe and scared. I suspect this represents her fear as a child. I ask for help and her guide appears.

The guide has light skin and light sky-blue eyes. She is wearing a robe with a hood over her head.I feel she is very friendly as she holds out her hand. Her name is Angela.

Angela, the guide, takes Lily her back to the cabin, suggesting she access the comforting feelings of being in the cabin whenever she feels afraid.

Soon she is back with the volcanos. She becomes aware of the volcanos being like her father. I wonder out loud how her father really felt about her.

My guide just reminded me of a dream I had of my dad. It was after he passed away. He came to me and was actually holding me. I was sobbing and crying. I’d never felt like that before.

I ask about herself as a girl, suggesting she find out what her younger self needs.

I see myself as a young girl with pigtails, of maybe three years old. I am getting down to her level so I can see her eye to eye. I see fear in her eyes.

I mention how brave this little girl has been.

For some reason, I just picked her up and flew off. She is enjoying flying. I am showing her that the world is bigger and not as scary as it seems. I am actually taking her to the Godfathers Pizza Place. Dad used to look after me when I was sick and bring me my medicine. He was the one who always picked me up when I was ill at school. I had stomach problems. Then he would take me somewhere to eat like McDonalds or the Godfather’s Pizza Place. We are there with him now. Those are good memories.

Lily and I laugh, thinking about eating fast food when ill.

It didn’t matter. It helped. He was a bit softer during those times. I enjoyed being with him then.

Angela now takes Lily to another scene.

I am at my wedding and dad is walking me down the aisle. I am showing my little girl how happy and proud he is. (Lily laughs). He raises his hand so seriously, saying “I do” when the minister asks who gives me away.

Another memory comes. At 27, I had a heart operation. As I was wheeled into the theatre, he touched my toe affectionally and held onto it. (Laughing.) He didn’t know what else to do.

I received an award. Only four girls in the whole school were chosen. He had a bouquet of roses for me. Since he died, I remember having a lot of dreams of him showing me affection.

Lily begins to cry a little. I know she was afraid to cry as a child. I suggest she let herself soften and cry because she doesn’t want to be like her dad—afraid to be vulnerable. After crying a little more she speaks.

Angela is smiling.

We ask Angela about the abrasions on Lily’s arms.

Angela is taking me to the ocean, and I see a sunset. The sun is red orange. The waves are gentle, and the sand is warm. I feel that she tells me that the sea, sand and sun would help with my skin.

Now Angela is rubbing my arms in a very soothing way and putting primrose oil on them. I have been using it before, but I didn’t think it was working. She tells me she guided me to it, and it takes time to work. I need to trust it will help.

Our skin is what separates us from others and the rest of the world. Skin problems are about separation, either wanting to be separated or not wanting to be. Lily’s abrasions appear on the outside of her arms and legs, never on the inside. From that I deduce she intends to push someone away rather than bring them close. She wants separation from her father’s fierce threats. Even though he had died a decade ago, she was still carrying the fear her younger self felt.

From the regression, Lily receives what she needed. Her guide, Angela, took a her through a beautiful healing process which showed her adult self and child self that, in spite of his harsh discipline, her father loved her.

A Transpersonal Journey

A Transpersonal Journey

A transpersonal journey is different to a past life or life between lives regression in one significant way. Our focus in a transpersonal journey is on resolving the problems of the client and we do that by a process of investigation. The client needs to be ready and willing to face these issues and delve deep. We often utilise the emotions associated with the issue to gather relevant information.

The session involves the client’s guides who we call in and ask for help. The journey may involve a past life, a current life or even a visit to the life between lives, especially that area where spirits become stuck. At the beginning, we never know where we may go. We simply trust the shift will take place. To achieve the desired outcome the client needs to be open to exploring whatever situation is presented by the guides.

Even though every session is unique, here is a case which may give you a sense of a transpersonal journey. Paul came to see me in the hope he could sort out some issues.

Paul described having a pattern of depression which came upon him at least once a year. During the months before the day of his booked appointment with me, he had another of these debilitating episodes. He was so tired and anxious he lost fifteen kilograms. Fortunately, he had weened himself off his anti-depressants earlier in the year and was sufficiently aware during this period to clearly describe what had happened.

Paul was very busy in his self-employed business but one weekend took time off to engage in several physical activities. He did a three hour session of martial arts and a couple of hours of surfing. When he got home, he had some household activities to do before tackling the work he had to complete in his office. As he walked into his office, he realised how exhausted he was. He describes how he felt.

I knew I had overdone it and I started feeling anxious. When I feel like that it is a case of the damage has been done but, at the time, I felt overwhelmed.

As Paul described this memory, he accessed the same feelings he had at the time. You might notice how he changed tense.

Fearful energy comes up my spine and I go into flight or fight. I have tremors in the body, palpitations, short breaths, tense stomach. It feels like total dread.

I use these emotions to help us explore, so I ask him if he has felt like this before. He describes some earlier episodes in his current life before further detailing his cycle of distress.

The anxiety creates flight or fight. I can’t sleep and can’t eat. When all of that happens, there are senses in my head which make me feel disconnected because my thoughts are foggy. I have obtrusive thoughts.

I ask Paul to tell me the nature of these intrusive thoughts.

I remember the first time that I had this cycle. I couldn’t switch it off. I was in a stressful job and we had a new baby. I’d stopped taking antidepressants. I had a few anxiety attacks and I couldn’t work. When I was going through a burst of anxiety, I walked around the block trying to calm myself. I forced myself to eat dinner. I was light sensitive so the lights had to be turned down. We decided to watch something and we chose a dark psychological movie. I sat through it. The main character is investigating a disappearance on an island asylum. Near the end, (crying) he discovers the most dangerous patient is himself. He is a murderer.

We went to bed and I was laying there. I had fears of going crazy, that I might wake up in the morning suddenly discovering I am bad, like the psychopath.

Paul is terribly upset while relating this memory. He has the same symptoms as before. I wonder if this could be triggering some sort of past life with remnants bleeding into his current life.

I was scared as a little kid. Before I married, I was very self-destructive. Since having kids, the feeling of love for them is overwhelming. I am over-protective and afraid for them. I want them to grow up and know they are okay. But I want to enjoy them when they are little. It is a catch 22. I cannot enjoy my children because I am so afraid of something happening to them. I can’t watch TV. If I get something that triggers me, like a movie, I feel terrible dread. Then I think, I have gone too far!  

I suggest that this sense of “I have gone too far” is a trigger. Paul replies that he felt like that at the beginning of the recent weekend episode when he had done too much in one day.

I ask if we can keep exploring this sense of going too far.

Paul: I want to do it. I am just scared of being stuck in it and cannot get out.

Karen: Stuck in what way.

Paul: I see a dark tunnel and light at the end.

Karen: Focus on that.

Paul: I am really claustrophobic. 

Karen: What would you like to do? Unlock the claustrophobia or something else?

Paul: I’d like to meet my guide.

I know Paul is currently feeling afraid and stuck. To meet his guide, he will need to access a higher frequency.

Karen: Okay. First, we need to go to a safe, happy place. What is that for you?

Paul: Rainforest with a stream.

I give him a guided meditation of a rainforest and stream, and eventually ask what he is aware of.

Paul: Dark. My heartrate is fast.

Karen: What is that heart rate telling you about yourself at the moment? (long silence) What’s happening now?

 Paul: I feel like I am really deep and dark.

Karen: Is that a relaxed feeling?

Paul: Hmm, body really heavy.

Karen: Stay with that, perhaps that is what your body needs at the moment. (Long silence). Anything coming, Paul?

Paul: Lots of coloured lights in the darkness.

Karen: Could be healing lights. Anything you want to share you can. Otherwise I’ll just let you be for a while. (Another long silence).

Paul: What is my purpose?

Ask you guides and see what pops in.

Paul: Love.

Paul: How do I heal? Light

Karen: How would the light heal you?

Paul: Togetherness.

Karen: What does that mean?

Paul: Family. wisdom, chakra, twelve, heal. It is different now, a real tunnel feeling. I am moving. Bright lights are around me and they are shrinking almost like I am going backwards.

Karen: Go with that. That could be healing too.

Paul: I see a rat’s face.

Karen: What does that mean?

Paul: Time.

What is important about time in this context?

Paul: Time is everything.

K: What do you think about the tunnel and light at the end going backward?

Paul: Not sure.

Karen: Do you remember your fear of going too far and not being able to go back?

Paul: Yes.

Karen: I think the guides just showed you that you can.

Paul smiles.

Karen: Thinking about what we have done today, how do you feel.

Paul: It makes me happy. I am going to focus on self-love as that always makes me feel better. I think that I need to trust my intuition and meditate more. I am genuinely a good person. I know that. I deserve self-love.

Now I take Paul back to the weekend which started two months of anxiety and serious weight loss, including feelings of dread, fast heartrate and tremors earlier in the session. Now he reports feeling nothing. I also take him back to the disturbing movie which had caused him considerable distress. Again, his feelings are neutral.

He had lost all negative emotional charge, which had been previously associated with the scenarios.

You might wonder what happened to gain such a shift in Paul’s attitude as not a lot was said in the last half of the regression. However, there were a lot of long pauses during this time. Paul had calmed himself down and it is quite likely that the guides were working on him energetically while he was seeing all the coloured lights.

Paul left feeling light and happy. He had committed to asking the guides for help in the future, and he assured me he would return if he had any sense of going back into the old pattern of deep anxiety and fatigue.

This sort of session is called a transpersonal journey because it is set up to harness the wisdom of our spirit guides. The guides respect free will. They do not interfere in our human journey. To receive help, we need to ask as specifically as we can.

Before we embark on the transpersonal journey, we explore the client’s issues to gain clarity on the key problem. We call in the guides and ask them to keep out any unwanted energies so only those wise beings are present who are here for the highest good of the client and highest good of all. We do that so we can trust the journey and what is received.

Usually we start exploring the issue without any hypnotic induction but sometimes an induction is necessary to calm the client. If any blocks are present, our first task is to explore and dismantle those. Some clients have something on their mind. When so, it needs to be put to rest. Bringing it to the surface is the most effective way to do that.

Then we embark on the journey trusting we are receiving help from the guides. Sometimes information flows, coming to the client with no help from me. Other times I help the client surface information by asking questions.

I have found the transpersonal journey is a useful way of addressing issues that are holding clients back from progressing in the way they would like.

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