During their regressions, a lot of my clients receive the same message from higher guidance. They are told to just be!

Recently, I received a similar message. I was feeling a bit confused from falling and breaking my right elbow and my left knee. Because I believe everything happens for a reason, I assumed this accident would have some meaning. After reaching a meditative state, I asked my higher guidance, “why?” Immediately an answer blared in my mind, “stop!”

Soon after, I imparted this experience to a friend. I told her that I was working out how to stop, and what to stop and started listing some options for making this happen. She laughed. “Do you realise what you are doing?” I shook my head. “You aren’t stopping. You are too busy doing stopping.”

I got the point and laughed.

After more thought, I realised that that stopping is similar to being, the same message so many of my clients had received.

I never fully understood what the guides meant by just being. You cannot stop doing things when you have a human body. You need to eat. You need to sleep. You need to take care of things.

Meditating how to stop, I received another message. “Only do what you want to do.”

On the surface that sounded quite simple. “If I don’t feel like doing do the dishes, I don’t do them.” But then I took this idea a step further:

“If I don’t do the dishes, they are going to pile up. Is that what I want? A dirty kitchen that attracts bugs? Of course not. I guess that means that sooner or later, I really do want to do the dishes.”

I realised that the idea of being, takes some thought. We need to be aware of our feelings and what we truly want.

I listed a way to start:

• Do what you enjoy.
• Do what you like doing.
• Do want you feel like doing.
• Do what feels easy.

Overtime, what you want to do might change. If you run out of underpants, you could find that, right now, you do want to do the laundry. It’s a choice between wearing clean underwear or not. Which do you want the most?

Here is another example:

You are here on the planet with a body that needs sustenance. You need money to eat, so you need to work. But you don’t feel like working. Do you work or go hungry? Riling against having to work or feeling bitter about being hungry is pointless. No one is making you do anything. You decide what you prefer.

Smart, calm people have already worked out what they really want. My grandmothers come to mind. They enjoyed making dirty dishes clean, smoothing crumpled clothes when ironing, watching plants grow, preparing and cooking nutritious meals. Some years ago, I realised that, without knowing it, they were naturally practising the fundamental philosophy of Zen. They liked making order out of chaos.

What was their secret?

When they were children, they both milked cows before dawn on cold winter mornings. Then, they walked many miles to school (in hand-me-down shoes if they were lucky). When the brothers of my maternal grandmother went to war, she ploughed the fields walking behind a horse. The other lost her dear mother when she was only five. Their lives were tough.

Later they treasured a safe home, enough to eat, hard-working husbands and all that the post-war twentieth century provided. My grandmothers were happy people who had learnt to accept whatever life offered and appreciate it. Perhaps their difficult upbringing played a role in developing their calm grateful wisdom.

Accepting the reality of our human condition, rather than resisting what life offers, fosters contentment. Whether we want to face it or not, each one of us is responsible for looking after ourselves. Being is possible when we know what is important. Then we choose to do what we want to do, with the will and power to happily carry it out.

Trying to achieve being is counterproductive. It is not about trying or about achieving. It is much simpler, lighter and easier than that. The recipe is being in the flow of our purpose on earth, experiencing joy and gratitude, with a couple of large cups of trust thrown in.

I am still learning how to be. I meditate and practice being in the moment. Accepting seems to help, that means accepting ourselves without judgement, and accepting whatever arises each moment.