How to change your reality? The first step in changing our reality is becoming aware that we have already created what we are living. My clients’ guides reiterate that they agreed to the plan for their lives.

Now, in human form, they are also responsible for the decisions they make on earth. Some folk may be aligned with their plan, and some may not be. However, our lack of awareness does not mitigate our responsibility. We experience the consequences of our decisions whether we are aware of our personal power or not. 

What reality have you created?

As a psychologist, I had many young clients who said they were fearful and anxious. Instead, they wanted to feel light and happy. When, together, we explored their current lives, I often found myself thinking: “if I was living like you, I would feel anxious too.”

Of course, I didn’t share that view with them. I knew they were trapped in their self-sabotaging behaviours. Obviously, they were with me for that very reason. The specific actions they were taking in their lives or those they were failing to take were self-destructive. Unfortunately, they didn’t realise that. Here are some of the behaviours they were exhibiting:

• Overspending and not keep track of their finances.
• Allowing themselves to be bullied or unfairly criticised.
• Distracting themselves from their problems by using addictive substances.
•  Engaging in frivolous and risky activities.
• Creating friendships with negative people and addicts.
• Saying in unhealthy relationships.
• Floundering and stuck when feeling lost and directionless. 
• Making poor choices by not being discerning.
• Stuck in negativity, anger and resentment.
• Struggling with anxiety.

I could see they were creating their reality, but they felt helpless when it came to doing anything about it. 

Why were they stuck

• First, they couldn’t clearly see what they were doing. 
• Second, they failed to realise that their self-sabotaging behaviours were there for a reason. That is, to learn. 
• Third they were generally confused and this impeded their ability to make changes.

Most of these self-sabotaging behaviours were directly created in childhood or were reactions to experiences in childhood. 

As children we have one important purpose above all others and that is to get to adulthood. To stay safe and survive, we pick up many beliefs and behaviours that will outlast their usefulness once we are older. Once absorbed, these views often stay with us.

Here is an example from my life. At a young age, each of my parents badly abused me. To stay safe, I automatically created a strategy to protect me. Consequently, I became a people pleaser. Then, when around powerful people, I focused on keeping them calm and happy. That is a sure way to lose yourself. 

Later, as an adolescent with powerful hormones raging in my body, I rebelled. But the habit of keeping bosses, partners, and other adults happy soon returned in early adulthood.

Humans are habitual. When a strategy works, we keep using it. The strategy we adopt becomes a natural part of who we are. It is automatic and unconscious. Unfortunately the original fear we felt as a young child does not go away. When we meet similar threatening circumstances, we react. Our subconscious strategy is triggered to protect us.

How to change your reality

This triggering process is automatic, meant to keep us safe. It is the same automatic process animals use to protect them from a threat. But we are not animals. We have evolved our consciousness and created complexity in our lives. We can deliberately override our sense of danger and stay in situations that an animal would have immediately abandoned.

My clients were creating their reality unconsciously. They were unaware of the conflict between what worked in the past and what works now. The same habitual strategies kept them trapped in their anxious, unhappy lives.

Finding the original cause of our anxiety and coming to terms with it helps us create more peace and calm in our lives. But we need to change the habit too. To overcome our habit, our first step is being mindful of our habit whenever we are triggered. 

Once we realise that our current situation is not the same as the past challenging incident, our distress dissipates. Our current reaction of fear and discomfort was just a warning. Generally, we are no longer in danger. Now, we are adults with free will. 

Overtime, we can be triggered in a variety of situations. As we make the connection with each new threat, we gradually extinguish our habitual response.

Conclusion

Indeed, we do create our reality but understanding how we do that and making necessary changes takes time and effort. Developing our ability to create what we want is one of the fundamental reasons we are on this planet. Putting effort into consciously developing our creative ability is eminently worthwhile.

If you would like to know more about how you can create the reality you want, click HERE.

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