Step into your power means embracing authenticity, Authenticity! In many ways, it is such an imprecise word. But then, how desirable! Of course, we want to live authentically, to express our truth with courage and conviction. But if we fear others pushing back, it’s easy to stall or self-sabotage.
Some time ago, I faced this challenge. An American publisher accepts, my book, Lost Soul, Wise Soul: How Our Challenging Past Lives Shape our Future, for publication. As my manuscript makes its inexorable way through the publisher’s editing and design processes, the truth finally dawns on me. My words, ideas and insights will be laid bare to my readers. Suddenly, I fear how they might react.
My book Lost Soul, Wise Soul explores the darker impulses of human nature. First, our capacity to inflict terrible suffering on others. Second, our willingness to indulge the worst of our passions. Consequently, there is a reason for my concern. However, I know that after travelling through our dark night of the soul, we have a choice. We can to remain trapped in our torment, or emerge into the light.
While I know the book is ultimately uplifting, I struggle with my doubts. These days, our media culture is victim-centric. By sympathising with grievously wounded people, we can unwittingly trap them in victimhood. Also, victims and their allies, can turn away from hope.
Is there a way to step into your power
Is there a way out of this unsavoury process? Hopefully, I believe there is. First step, is unsparing self-analysis. Eventually, this leads to emotional and spiritual growth. Unfortunately, many refuse to acknowledge this path. Instead, they can become trapped as victims, seeking sympathy and soothing. In a way, they become their own perpetrators, condemning themselves to perpetual suffering.
Lost Soul, Wise Soul exposes our victim and perpetrator stances, suggesting we look to our inner life for the answers we crave.
Although many turn away from darkness, I felt compelled to write Lost Soul, Wise Soul. I want to express my deepest beliefs and emotions. In truth, the book is one panacea for our current ills. I sense a duty to make these ideas public. And yet, I’m alert to the risk of self-sabotage. What is it I really fear?
The moment I ask that question, a deluge of negative thoughts surge through my mind. “People will dislike me. They’ll be angry. They’ll punish me, strap me, try to kill me, make my live miserable, take me to court, judge me, yell at me, ignore me, rape me.
I reel at this onslaught. What is the genesis of such terror? As I draw a few slow, deep breaths, I see a series of images appear in my mind. By giving myself distance I can view them dispassionately, I recognise the traumas that had shaped my beliefs. Most traumas occurred during the first twenty years of my current life.
I ask, “what have I done to cause such treatment?” “Nothing.” is the answer. I had simply been myself. My perpetrators taught me things I do not need. One, don’t exceed your station. If you do, you’ll pay the price. Two, be grateful for what you have. Three, be small and humble. Four, don’t be selfish. Five, fulfil the needs of others. Six, keep people happy to avoid being hurt.
I thought about the people who said they loved me, but who cut me to the quick. Who were they, really?
Sadly, most were flawed and emotionally damaged. Then, many were disconnected from spirit. Unfortunately, others were totally lost. Looking closer, I saw their lack of self-control, while wanting to rigidly control others. I saw rage and anger, alcoholism, physical violence, rape, sadism, paedophilia, emotional cruelty, hatred and intolerance. As well, I saw people desperately hiding from themselves. I also saw acts of kindness, love, care, comfort, and a desire to do the right thing. No wonder, by the time I was twenty, I was terribly confused.
At least, one thing became clear. Did I really want these damaged people to run my life? No! I did not.
Stepping Out
I turned on the TV and Netflix. For the fourth time, I watched Brené Brown, in her talk, The Call to Courage. She recalls the snark and envy she endured after her first TED Talk. Initially, she was devastated. Then she thought about it. First, did her critics have her courage? No. Second, did they put themselves out into the world? No. Instead, they snipe at those who have the courage to offer their point of view and never expose their throats to the mob.
What emotions are driving these people, Envy? Fear? No, it’s worse than that. It’s a self-hatred so profound they dare not face it. Instead, they turn it on a woman who stood before a camera and revealed her vulnerabilities to the world. By seeking to destroy her, they seek to destroy their fear and own sense of inadequacy. But they fail on both counts. Sadly, their anger perpetuates their weakness.
Brené sees through their confected rage. If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion because you were being brave, I am not interested in, or open to, your feedback, she declares. “I choose courage over comfort.”
Brené stands tall. She continues to share her experiences and insights with others. In spite of the criticism, she stays the course. I applaud her personal power.
Her example inspires me. I acknowledge my fear of being vulnerable and affirm my commitment to follow through. I step out, ready to welcome my path and destiny
Lost Soul, Wise Soul: How Our Challenging Past Lives Shape Our Future
Well said and well done. Look forward to the read.
Thank you Katie. I would love to read your thoughts on the book once you have a chance to read it.
Good for you Karen! Listen to Source, not the trolls. And remember to take care of yourself energetically as well, some of those trolls throw energetic spears. Best of luck with the book, can’t wait to read it!
Good advice, Narelle. Yes, it is so important to keep our connection to Source healthy and vigorous. I am looking forward to the feedback from those people, like yourself, who are thoughtful and Source connected. My only hope is that readers glean something useful for them from the book, knowing that not all that is in it will resonate.
Hi Karen,
This is a wonderfully written and insightful introduction to your work. I very much look forward to reading your book.
I had a client in LBL just yesterday state that “Fear is the antithesis of love.” Of course.
Courage to be authentic and to dare to share ourselves with the world is to be honored, and serves as a source of inspiration for us all.
I keep in mind and heart the courage it takes for each soul to incarnate in human form as well, knowingly leaping into painful lessons of transformation so often held within the Great Unknown.
“There is the mud, and there is the lotus that grows out of the mud. We need the mud in order to make the lotus.” Thich Nhat Hanh
I’m sending you much love, gratitude and appreciation!
Elizabeth
Thank you for those lovely thoughts Elizabeth. I am feeling uplifted by the encouraging comments you and others are making. I have so many lovely clients and those on my mailing list who follow me, communicate with me and who I have met, are really lovely, generous people. I am actually very blessed. Blessings to you and all of them.
Everybody wants to wear The Mantle of Victimhood nowadays. It drives me nuts. But I stay out of it as much as I can because I get so emotionally involved, it can ruin my day.
I appreciate your courage in writing this book because someone had to, and I look forward to reading it 🙂
Thank you Christine. Yes the culture of victimhood can be debilitating. I am doing my best to see it as some sort of consciousness raising that is a phase we are going through in our societies. I look forward to the day when the focus shifts to people taking responsibility for self-healing. That is, looking inside instead of outside of ourselves. I am confident that day will come. Many transgressions have been hidden for a long time and I guess they are surfacing now with all the fury that can bring. Just the same, the anger some feel, projected outwards onto others, is not comfortable for them or anyone else. Thanks for your support and sharing your important views.
Hi Karen. You also are brave and and inspirational and I look forward to reading your new book, Lost Souls, Wise Souls etc. One has to experience the dark to appreciate the light. I was influenced by by a less than ideal father until my strong good living mother stepped and ended the marriage as a better choice for the sake of her children because of his bad example. Out father was not violent towards us but he was unreliable, irresponsible as well as dishonest, unfaithful, excessive gambler and drinker and did not provide for us when he was off for weeks at the time but he could be a fun person and I looked up to him being the only boy and the eldest of three children I grew up a relatively innocent life in a small city in New Zealand until moving to Sydney when I was twenty and started to live a corrupted life thinking I was pretty smart and clever and saw lot of the of the worst of life and was lucky I never ended up in gaol. When wife my wife fell pregnant with our first born something came over me and I felt ashamed as I sensed that unborn child disapproved of the way I was heading and l felt I was turning into my father and felt guilty towards my wife and mother. At that point her light got through that chink of remorse and I started reforming my self from that time on but have a deep understanding how easy it is to slip into the shadows which helps me not to be too judgmental on others. I feel my experience is much less profound that what you have gone through and overcome but still impacting your thoughts and fears but never the less I am truly grateful for it as life is wonderful when one truly knows what it is all about when challenges can be switches to even brighter light. Sorry for such a long winded comment but it just comes out and am sure you will understand. Regards. Barry
Dear Barry, I so appreciate you sharing your story. That takes courage and it helps all of us to know how you found your better self. There is no point in comparing hardships as we are all individuals with different tolerances. I know I am a strong soul and I also have inherited a strong body. Those are blessings on this challenging planet. Many of us have been corrupted early in our lives. This journey doesn’t come with a manual. There are so many confusing choices, and we have to work it out ourselves, until we learn again to connect to our higher, better self and Source. I am glad your experience bought forth your inner wisdom. But not a shred of that time of being lost is wasted, in my view. I love the way it helps us become less judgemental and grateful. Ultimately, I wouldn’t be without it and neither would the generous people in my book, many who took a very challenging path through many lives on Earth journey.
Profound and provocative. Thanks for having the courage to share your experience and wisdom. Joanne
Thank you Joanne. I appreciate the positive feedback I have received from you and other brave, thoughtful people who dig deep to understand what I am talking about. You are the ones I will be listening to regardless of the nature of your feedback because I know it comes from an open heart.