When unhappy, people wonder when to leave a relationship, they are often confused. Recently, several women came to see me wondering when they should leave their relationships. Although their ages are different, varying from 45 to 75, each woman is at a crossroad in her relationship with her partner or husband. Fundamentally, These women are confused, not knowing for sure when to leave a relationship or when to stay.

I find their complaints about their relationships are similar:

• a lack of connection and intimacy
• no more physical attraction
• partners are friends rather than lovers
• as a couple, no longer engaged with each other
• partners are emotionally or intellectually indifferent to their needs
• something is missing

Frustratingly, some of these women are still struggling after a year or more. Puzzled and frustrated, they are not sure of the right time to leave a relationship. That doesn’t mean the problem is on their mind all the time, but whenever feelings of disappointment surface, they are back in turmoil. At this point in time, each woman harbours an underlying feeling of dissatisfaction. Each is keenly aware that life is constantly moving on.

How do we know when to leave and when to stay?

Most certainly, no relationship is the same. Regrettably, there is no easy or common formula. But one thing is certain. Only the one dissatisfied can solve the problem.Your partner is not the one to ask for help. Undoubtedly, that is not your point of power. Now, to find the authentic answer to your problems, you must explore your own personal needs, expectations and motivations. Importantly, this involves investigating your purpose. Consider what your are you here to learn, experience and resolve. Here are two examples to help you understand:

Discovering deep loss and resentment

A lovely lady, retired and spiritually focussed, came to me because she feels blocked. Often, she finds herself thinking about separating from her husband of many years, even though she describes him as a good man. In addition, she confides that there some behaviours she doesn’t like. Unfortunately, he is not spiritually minded like she is. Also, he can be negative, is not healthy, and drinks too much. Understandably, she feels resentful, and is not sure she can graciously look after him in his old age. She wonders, “Should I leave?”

During the regression she undertakes with me, we discover she is carrying a deep unresolved grief which colours her view of humanity and her life on Earth. Consequently, she accesses a past life where she is a man, a tribal leader. For a long time, the tribe live an idyllic life of hunting, rituals and connection. But sadly, one day foreign marauders come. These intruders slaughter all tribal members. Devastated, the leader, dies feeling hopeless, unable to protect his people. As these sad, powerless feelings surface, my client weeps loudly and deeply.

Fortunately, releasing this grief changes something in my client. She describes how she now feels about her husband.

I need to appreciate his strengths. For sure, he is strong and resilient. Actually. I love him very much. (Crying) In truth. I am misjudging him, and I am seeing him differently now. He is a protector. Sadly, I never appreciated that before. Definitely, I have been resistant and hardened years ago but now I am softening. Happily, I see the light in his soul and I feel light, with a lot of joy. More information about this case is in one of my podcasts.

Release distracting blocks

Resistance to love and life can be deeply buried, as it was in this case. Sometimes resistance is in the form of justifications, such as in the following case.

A successful management consultant in her mid-forties comes to see me. For decades, she uses her psychic abilities and they serve her well. Unfortunately, she finds these are no longer working. As we talk, I discover she is considering leaving her husband. Apparently he is a good man. However, she is attracted to a man with whom she feels an undeniable, calm and powerful connection. Even though, neither she or this man have spoken a word of how they feel personally, she strongly senses a future together and a strong inclination to leave her husband.

From years of experience, I know that whenever we are blocked, we are resisting either a truth we need to acknowledge or an action we need to take. She is pulled in two directions, wondering whether she should stay with her husband or if it is the time when to leave a relationship.

Nature of resistance

In the first example, my client had been resisting love. In the past life, her love for the tribe bought much suffering at the end of life. Deep in her soul, love became associated with deep grief. Before her regression, she is carrying a crippling fear of any deep loving connection. Unfortunately, connection is associated with great loss, like her experience in the past life. She believes the disconnection and lack of satisfaction she feels in her marriage is coming from her husband. In reality, she is protecting herself from great loss by pushing him away.

In the second case, my client is disturbed by the idea of divorcing her husband, even though she feels the marriage has run its course. Now it is a platonic friendship. Historically, her family religion and culture expect marriages to last. In fact, divorce was not even legal in her country of origin. Sadly, she knew no one in her circle of family and friends who would approve.

When to leave a relationship

During the regression, my second client understands that refusing to follow her heart severs her connection to her inner guidance and true self. Obviously, she is afraid of upsetting her family, her friends, her children, or her husband. Consequently, she mentally justifies why she needs to stay. No doubt, this attempt to cut off her true feelings also cuts any connection to her true self.

Because free will is a given, her spiritual guides tell her the choice to leave or stay is hers. But she senses her life will be short if she refuses to follow the agreed plan for her life, and instead stays married. Therefore, she has a soul contract with her husband and children and the lessons they need to learn are non negotiable. She will be leaving the family, either by choice or by dying early. 

Also the guides tell my client the plan for her life will only proceed once she leaves her marriage. Happily, her plan includes the possibility of this new relationship. As well, she learns she will accomplish much in the latter part of her life, which includes helping many people.

Conclusion

Knowing the plan for their life, each woman sees the best decision for the highest good of all. We have pre-birth contracts with others which we always hope to fulfil. Releasing past life blocks brings us back to our true self. Being your authentic self and following your purpose is more important than any social-rules or cultural traditions.

We all have a soul history and purpose each lifetime. When we are aligned with our path, life unfolds easily. The women who came to see me were able to uncover and understand their soul history and purpose. Feeling new-found clarity, courage and energy were able to take the best path for everyone.