We often ignore the importance of healthy balance. But Most of us dont realise there are different levels of balance. In truth, our existence here on Earth depends on our bodies being in vital balance. When we are not, we die. To interact and work, we need to have some level of mental balance. But are we in health balance? Many people are not. They are in balance in unhealthy dysfunctional ways. And this is costly. 

The cost of balance

To stay in balance can be costly so what is the cost? 

Our body will rob our bones of calcium to keep our acid/alkaline balance in check. If this process is constant, it leads to weakness in the bones, bone breaks and spinal problems.  In attempting to stay mentally balanced, some people deny reality and adhere to illusional beliefs. For example, some overspend and ignore their debt. Others avoid dealing with health problems like a lump in the breast or a consistent cough. Hiding from the truth might keep them calm and balanced for a while, but eventually the shocking truth will emerge, and the cost of their unhealthy balance will hit.

To feel balanced and at peace with themselves, some people have to be right. Of course, having to be right all the time throws them into constant conflict with others, creating stress which sabotages their inner peace.  Others only feel normal when using alcohol or drugs. The price they eventually pay for their temporary sense of balance is loss of health and relationships.

The importance of healthy balance

All harmful behaviours are attempts to stay in balance. 

• We take drugs and alcohol to stay in balance. 
• Some of us become obsessive, anxious or depressed to stay in balance. 
• Others become submissive or aggressive to stay in balance. 

Actually, we are an eco-system which will change, even negatively, to stay in balance. In nature, water temperature increases and affects the ecology of the barrier reef. It bleaches. That is how it maintains balance. Reefs now grow in other areas where the temperature is suitable. 

This is how systems work. They adjust to stay in balance. From a high-level spiritual perspective, strategies to stay in balance are not good or bad. They just are! That is the way things work. All is ultimately neutral. But, from a human perspective, maintaining a neutral stance in the face of unhealthy behaviours is more difficult.

If you married an abusive alcoholic, you are likely to be unhappy and feel out of balance. Most probably, to stay together, you have to sacrifice your own needs. You might decide to make a significant change, like leaving your partner. In this case, by taking action, you force a change in the system. He or she might give up drinking, drink heavier, suicide or go looking for a new partner. No matter what your partner chooses, you are now free to find more healthy balance for yourself. 

Healthy balance requires change

Just changing our attitude to a situation can create change a relationship. For example, in a work relationship one person is a bully and the other submissive. There is a pattern of interaction between these two people that keeps each of them internally in balance. The bully is gains measure and confirmation any time he wins a point from the other. The victim might be angry but maintains a sense of righteousness from judging the bully. Playing out roles on the continuum of submission and rebellion keeps them in balance. They avoid having to deal with their underlying worthlessness issues. These issues are related to their past. Let’s say, the submissive person is fed up with being victimized and decides to do something about it. Perhaps she embarks on therapy and/or martial arts. Now she or he stands up to the bully. These actions create significantly change in the relationship. Shifting from reacting as a victim and responding as a healthy adult means she or he is now well-balanced. If, instead, the victim just switches to being the bully, their sense of worthlessness remains the same. This is not progress. The argumentative relationship continues to keep them in balance, but that balance is not healthy. 

Obviously, seeking and creating balance within yourself and within your relationship systems is not easy. But, I suggest, it is worth asking yourself a few questions. First ask if you are well-balanced and, second, reflect on any actual cost you are paying in your close relationships and within yourself to stay balanced.

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